i'm tired

i’m tired of seeing all the happy couples

smiling and holding hands

waking down the street

i’m happy for them

but i’m tired

i’m tired of waiting for my person

boy after boy comes by

each being as brittle

as the dried leaves on the pavement, the happy couples walk down

i know my time will come

but i’m tired

i’m tired of pretending i’m happy

the tears stream down my face at night

as a stare at my ceiling fan swirl

as i count the raindrops on my window

i know i’ll get better

but i’m tired

i’m tired of reliving the hurt

the scars reopen and leave me bleeding

trying to stick bandaids on a wound

that only time, money, and therapy can heal

i know i won’t suffer eventually

but for now

i’m tired

i’m exhausted

i can’t run any more laps around my own head

my body is aching for eternal rest

my heart is longing for a soul i don’t know exists

my mind is crying out for a break

i’m tired